Texts From Last Night

PitbullLuver's Favorites Texts:

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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

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  (575): Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place http://tfl.nu/vq1o
  Replies (10) Good night (289) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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  (571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder. http://tfl.nu/3ets
  Replies (275) Good night (4057) Bad night (68268)
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  (546): View more from

  As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.

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  (546): As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/al3c
  Replies (3) Good night (295) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO

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  (919): OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO http://tfl.nu/dlgw
  Replies (23) Good night (3808) Bad night (426)
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  (858): View more from California

  I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.

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  (858): I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out. http://tfl.nu/k2ug
  Replies (7) Good night (381) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.

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  (607): Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun. http://tfl.nu/atlx
  Replies (6) Good night (450) Bad night (1716)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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  (315): Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time? (540): Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude http://tfl.nu/szgw
  Replies (9) Good night (897) Bad night (2072)
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  (661): View more from California

  He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.

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  (661): He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/6vas
  Replies (25) Good night (3257) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.

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  (832): You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life. http://tfl.nu/rg4t
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (400)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?

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  (302): Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech? http://tfl.nu/c3aa
  Replies (23) Good night (779) Bad night (1857) Order T-Shirt