i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test