The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.