Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor