French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I would do horrible things to your vagina.