hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat