when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
youre lurking in front of me
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You're so nebulous sometimes
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm really into asian looking animals
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz