He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.