I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook