Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (903)

Last Night in Texas (903)

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(903): View more from Texas

omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.

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(903): omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal. http://tfl.nu/qev8

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(903): View more from Texas

Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Me specifically?

(903): View more from Texas

Yep.

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(903): Today in psych we learned that you are a whore. (1-314): Me specifically? (903): Yep. http://tfl.nu/w818

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(903): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

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(903): Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later http://tfl.nu/a1zy

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(903): View more from Texas

I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.

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(903): I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times. http://tfl.nu/nwwj

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(903): View more from Texas

The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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(903): The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while. http://tfl.nu/y23x

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(903): View more from Texas

EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT

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(903): EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT http://tfl.nu/usnf

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(903): View more from Texas

Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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(903): Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later. http://tfl.nu/bq2x

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(903): View more from Texas

I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.

(214): View more from Texas

kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.

(903): View more from Texas

I'll be there in 10

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(903): I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem. (214): kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night. (903): I'll be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/kykh

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(979): View more from Texas

i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.

(903): View more from Texas

wow. i have no words.

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(979): i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door. (903): wow. i have no words. http://tfl.nu/bjsv

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(903): View more from Texas

Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"

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(903): Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R" http://tfl.nu/2koa

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(903): View more from Texas

If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.

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(903): If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis. http://tfl.nu/5wmm

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(903): View more from Texas

Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I find this completely acceptable.

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(903): Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework? (321): I find this completely acceptable. http://tfl.nu/32xm

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(903): View more from Texas

How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?

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(903): How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number? http://tfl.nu/4q6h

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(903): View more from Texas

He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.

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(903): He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit. http://tfl.nu/92kz

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(903): View more from Texas

He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

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(903): He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/h56s

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Last Night in Texas (903)

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