Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.