Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (530)

Last Night in California (530)

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I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite

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(530): I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite http://tfl.nu/1k7e

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As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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(530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy

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I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

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fuck. you.

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(530): I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight. (1-530): fuck. you. http://tfl.nu/1kgv

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the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo

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(530): the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo http://tfl.nu/dqpo

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Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.

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(530): Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed. http://tfl.nu/pk0q

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just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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(530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx

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smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers

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(530): smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers http://tfl.nu/y866

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I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!

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(530): I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds! http://tfl.nu/6diw

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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me

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(530): I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me http://tfl.nu/rrqt

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There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(530): There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool. http://tfl.nu/gbzx

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I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.

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(530): I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons. http://tfl.nu/pcjk

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Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.

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(530): Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe. http://tfl.nu/c8em

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Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud

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(530): Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud http://tfl.nu/4tef

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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

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(530): I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon. http://tfl.nu/vb88

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It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan

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(530): It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan http://tfl.nu/v151

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Last Night in California (530)

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