Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (530)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time. http://tfl.nu/t4yt
  Replies (16) Good night (2281) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication http://tfl.nu/e0p4
  Replies (11) Good night (2238) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad... http://tfl.nu/yh1f
  Replies (52) Good night (2218) Bad night (9968)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/t5d7
  Replies (20) Good night (2146) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/p21d
  Replies (29) Good night (2123) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it. http://tfl.nu/z6l9
  Replies (5) Good night (2072) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine http://tfl.nu/asqo
  Replies (36) Good night (2047) Bad night (3988) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security. http://tfl.nu/p79e
  Replies (3) Good night (2034) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake http://tfl.nu/dlo4
  Replies (15) Good night (2024) Bad night (4873) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good... http://tfl.nu/ucmp
  Replies (14) Good night (2006) Bad night (2846) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours http://tfl.nu/u33l
  Replies (11) Good night (2005) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Maybe I'm a robot. (831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
  Replies (8) Good night (1983) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board. http://tfl.nu/cpie
  Replies (7) Good night (1930) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.

  (916): View more from California

  That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo. (916): That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone. http://tfl.nu/d9c7
  Replies (1) Good night (1905) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting" http://tfl.nu/k1xw
  Replies (7) Good night (1899) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt