But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.