Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Toronto (416)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night http://tfl.nu/f5gl
  Replies (92) Good night (32252) Bad night (1603)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (54) Good night (27295) Bad night (2519) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n http://tfl.nu/pe4m
  Replies (21) Good night (11876) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/3lsk
  Replies (52) Good night (11243) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit. (416): Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?! http://tfl.nu/iavy
  Replies (39) Good night (10182) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment. http://tfl.nu/mdg4
  Replies (9) Good night (8098) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l
  Replies (31) Good night (7840) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed. http://tfl.nu/o4xt
  Replies (46) Good night (7765) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night http://tfl.nu/0qnk
  Replies (77) Good night (7654) Bad night (4268) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl
  Replies (23) Good night (7357) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck. http://tfl.nu/lba2
  Replies (16) Good night (7159) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening http://tfl.nu/ihge
  Replies (12) Good night (7021) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/nho3
  Replies (12) Good night (6778) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Best. Handjob. Ever.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm guessing Kelly is over?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Nope. Home alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Best. Handjob. Ever. (905): I'm guessing Kelly is over? (416): Nope. Home alone. http://tfl.nu/vpw4
  Replies (20) Good night (5778) Bad night (2813)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard? http://tfl.nu/skft
  Replies (12) Good night (5705) Bad night (730)