but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.