She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .