Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Toronto (416)

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.

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  (416): when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast. http://tfl.nu/itb7
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

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  (416): So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying. http://tfl.nu/y4gl
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  we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance

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  (416): we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance http://tfl.nu/wkwu
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

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  (416): Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat. http://tfl.nu/ucz3
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  She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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  (416): She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now http://tfl.nu/59pg
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?

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  Better looking than her though please.

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  (416): Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with? (416): Better looking than her though please. http://tfl.nu/bks1
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia

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  (416): i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia http://tfl.nu/2gcx
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.

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  (416): He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French. http://tfl.nu/rqrw
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM

  (416): View more from Toronto

  From?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...

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  (647): It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM (416): From? (647): Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table... http://tfl.nu/hv77
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  Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

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  (416): Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything. http://tfl.nu/up9n
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  he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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  (416): he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup http://tfl.nu/u0xy
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  She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.

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  (416): She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me. http://tfl.nu/1tg4
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!

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  (416): Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro! http://tfl.nu/k0oj
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle

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  (416): that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle http://tfl.nu/ax2q
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  I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations

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  (416): I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations http://tfl.nu/ujgo
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