Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Follow @tfln