I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.