You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly