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I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
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