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Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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(412): I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds http://tfl.nu/2vvx

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it's like her boobs came off with her bra

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(412): it's like her boobs came off with her bra http://tfl.nu/ua1r

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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.

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(412): No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger. http://tfl.nu/77i8

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How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

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Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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(412): How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body? (1-412): Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit http://tfl.nu/2oue

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Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!

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(412): Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid! http://tfl.nu/xi6r

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My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..

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(412): My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list.. http://tfl.nu/7bvi

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he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.

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(412): he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night. http://tfl.nu/6lcj

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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.

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(412): My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me. http://tfl.nu/dzz5

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words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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(412): words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing. http://tfl.nu/a6am

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He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip

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(412): He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip http://tfl.nu/r0us

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Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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(412): Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned? http://tfl.nu/249l

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Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came

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(412): Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came http://tfl.nu/do8g

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i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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(412): i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal http://tfl.nu/nm22

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He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.

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(412): He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q9b8

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Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"

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(412): Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces" http://tfl.nu/4r9u

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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