It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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