I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.