If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!