so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.