You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.