you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
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there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.