Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (216)

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  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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  (216): So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab http://tfl.nu/z45l
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  what is it with giant penises always finding me

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  (216): what is it with giant penises always finding me http://tfl.nu/ji8j
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  I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.

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  (216): I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting. http://tfl.nu/kqku
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  Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?

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  Probably.

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  I'm in.

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  (216): Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word? (440): Probably. (216): I'm in. http://tfl.nu/bl31
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  he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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  (216): he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone http://tfl.nu/anp6
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  Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?

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  Turn them off?

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  (419): Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day? (216): Turn them off? http://tfl.nu/9fwv
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  My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.

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  whore

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  (440): My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum. (216): whore http://tfl.nu/bo5h
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  there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

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  (216): there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay http://tfl.nu/f4sg
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  We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber

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  (216): We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber http://tfl.nu/uas6
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  When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

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  (216): When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning. http://tfl.nu/aoha
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  so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could

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  did she say where she was going

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  apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars

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  (740): so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could (216): did she say where she was going (740): apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars http://tfl.nu/v42j
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  you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.

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  (216): you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently. http://tfl.nu/85of
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  Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

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  (216): Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades. http://tfl.nu/zsau
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  Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

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  Lol no its called college

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  (216): Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER? (1-216): Lol no its called college http://tfl.nu/1cpq
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  my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.

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  (216): my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win. http://tfl.nu/rx98
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