halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.