Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (614)

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  My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.

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  (614): My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation. http://tfl.nu/2cc3
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  I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.

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  (614): I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help. http://tfl.nu/rixg
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  Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.

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  (614): Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by. http://tfl.nu/jzor
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  her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny

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  (614): her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny http://tfl.nu/5yjp
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  worst night to have a conscience

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  (614): worst night to have a conscience http://tfl.nu/q3ht
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  I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook

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  (614): I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook http://tfl.nu/grvu
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  Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

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  (614): Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge" http://tfl.nu/439j
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  I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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  (614): I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out. http://tfl.nu/60nc
  Replies (12) Good night (1087) Bad night (4061)
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  He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick

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  (614): He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick http://tfl.nu/nn0g
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  Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...

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  (614): Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write... http://tfl.nu/09db
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  Acid is not a monday night drug

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  (614): Acid is not a monday night drug http://tfl.nu/0lf0
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  she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...

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  (614): she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean... http://tfl.nu/ja4j
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  just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.

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  (614): just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society. http://tfl.nu/uah3
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  hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked

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  (614): hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked http://tfl.nu/5a6g
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  just got booed by the entire restaurant.

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  (614): just got booed by the entire restaurant. http://tfl.nu/m1gn
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