This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.