Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (614)

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  Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too

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  (614): Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too http://tfl.nu/p8r6
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  I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.

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  (614): I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on. http://tfl.nu/pnve
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  Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.

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  (614): Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified. http://tfl.nu/iywq
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  I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.

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  (614): I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose. http://tfl.nu/hj91
  Replies (23) Good night (588) Bad night (1685)
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  My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous

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  (614): My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous http://tfl.nu/febg
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  Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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  (614): Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday http://tfl.nu/2snx
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  I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

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  (614): I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place? http://tfl.nu/g0k2
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  My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.

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  (614): My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet. http://tfl.nu/omff
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  youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

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  (614): youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right? http://tfl.nu/3ekq
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  Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.

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  (614): Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this. http://tfl.nu/rk1o
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  i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.

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  (614): i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat. http://tfl.nu/0ifj
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  just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

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  (614): just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mpww
  Replies (10) Good night (2282) Bad night (1407)
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  I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?

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  (614): I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening? http://tfl.nu/furs
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  Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.

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  (614): Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed. http://tfl.nu/22a9
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  The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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  (614): The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!?? http://tfl.nu/bmvr
  Replies (7) Good night (373) Bad night (1364)