Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
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hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
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my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.