After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning