i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday