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Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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