Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.