Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (401)

Last Night in Rhode Island (401)

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.

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(401): Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you. http://tfl.nu/r8h0

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship

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(401): Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship http://tfl.nu/zpw1

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well

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(401): do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well http://tfl.nu/8t7l

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Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself

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(401): Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself http://tfl.nu/jjur

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yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car

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(401): yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car http://tfl.nu/wwsk

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

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(401): Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night. http://tfl.nu/eotk

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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(401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3

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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.

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(401): This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/lyuy

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i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems

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(401): i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems http://tfl.nu/61dr

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.

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(401): She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal. http://tfl.nu/0f54

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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.

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Jesus...So southern.

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(774): Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat. (401): Jesus...So southern. http://tfl.nu/htgy

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i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook

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you can....by speaking....

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(401): i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook (1-401): you can....by speaking.... http://tfl.nu/42zu

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

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we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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(401): remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice? (401): we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession. http://tfl.nu/61ek

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.

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(401): I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands. http://tfl.nu/2kp5

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She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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(401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp

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Last Night in Rhode Island (401)

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