we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.