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mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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