Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (267)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day

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I know she was great

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(215): mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day (267): I know she was great http://tfl.nu/ms90

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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.

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(267): she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon. http://tfl.nu/y6s2

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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out

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(267): Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out http://tfl.nu/835w

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the worst part is we had a camera rolling

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Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?

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Yes.

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I have to watch that.

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(215): the worst part is we had a camera rolling (267): Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys? (215): Yes. (267): I have to watch that. http://tfl.nu/u325

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I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.

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(267): I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe. http://tfl.nu/k42a

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My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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(267): My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake http://tfl.nu/gq0m

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Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?

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(267): Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet? http://tfl.nu/aedp

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Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail

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(267): Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail http://tfl.nu/spjw

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your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats

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(267): your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats http://tfl.nu/u2vh

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If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to

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(267): If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to http://tfl.nu/tvy7

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why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?

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she has a santa fetish

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cute.

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(267): why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place? (215): she has a santa fetish (267): cute. http://tfl.nu/kuhz

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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.

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(267): I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten. http://tfl.nu/d8ik

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Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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(267): Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams. http://tfl.nu/lmv8

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So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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(267): So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from. http://tfl.nu/6xgn

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We still going to Happy Hour

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Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up

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(267): We still going to Happy Hour (201): Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up http://tfl.nu/e38y

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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