He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.