Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said