Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer