I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.