CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.