we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising