He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!