i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!