Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help