Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.