When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done