i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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