dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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