I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
