Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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